My humps, my humps, my lovely lady lumps (and other oversized bumps)

Sometimes, this place kicks my arse. Just when I think I am 'learning China' - much like Hamish & Andy "learned" India in lead up to Comm Games - something happens to make me realize that not only am I still crawling in terms of understanding this place, I still have a long way to go before I understand myself.

I am a person who is pretty accepting of where my weight/body shape/size is. Sure, I could be thinner, lighter, tighter, flatter in parts but ultimately, I'm okay with who I am and my 5'6' size 8 frame. I made peace with my body a few years ago - around 30 - and promised to stop trying to wear current fashions if they didn't suit me, and stop beating myself up about the things I can't change (height, shape etc).

Over the weekend, I was in Shenzhen for a work function and so decided to spend Sunday AM shopping, before I returned 'home' to Guangzhou. There was a mall a short walk from my hotel, and with dodgy weather forecast, I decided this was my best shopping option. Central Walk Mall had lots of stores, including a very disappointing Zara and uninspiring Esprit store. The local designer stores were full of gorgeous things, but it wasn't long before I realised, they weren't for moi. The pants were designed to accentuate the tiny hips and posteriors of the local ladies, or to create the illusion of ass where there is none. There is no question about my ass, so in the slim-fitting strides, my ass was hanging out, and when I dared slip it into the ass-accentuating pants (as there was sufficient room and material to do so), I looked ridiculous. My rear looked comically large.

Adding to my frustrations were the many young (4-8 year old) girls out shopping with their mothers who found it quite hilar to pull back the change room curtain of the waiguo ren (foreigner) so that they could get a personal peep at my super sized - compared to their Mum's - assets (aka ASS).

Finally after a dozen stores and change rooms, I gave up. I was so down on my body and myself that I had to cease and desist before I dissolved in a puddle of tears. On my way out of the mall, I went into a store I had discovered the previous day - gorgeous (pricey) silk dresses and skirts that were Alannah Hill-esque. The girls remembered what I'd been looking at the previous day and brought them to me immediately - in my size! - to try on. There were no little peepers poking through the change room curtains to get a glimpse of my hump, lumps and bumps. I felt good - happy!! I couldn't decide which skirt to buy, so decided to get two (it *is* almost my birthday, after all!).

So after disappointment, success. And an appreciation that we're all physically different and all have our bad days in the change room. I'm loving my new skirts, so girly and unlike me. But they're gorgeous and they fit... and perhaps my style is changing, too. We shall see.